The five steps of coming to terms with one’s disability

Step 1: Realise that you’re different and actually get a diagnosis

  (Or just get a self-diagnose, both are valid, I knew that I was autistic before it was official.)

This is perhaps the easiest and most difficult step. It took me three years to realise that something was wrong* with me. It was three really bad years that I spent feeling like shit and not understanding why. When I finally realised that I was autistic it came as a relief. It wasn’t me that was wrong. I was just different and in an environment that was bad for me. It then took me a year to officially get my diagnosis, but it only took me half a year to change my environment for the better.         

Step 2: I’m autistic but I’m not autisticTM

So I realised that I was autistic, but I also realised that I was nothing like Raymond in Rain Man. Or Christopher Boone in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Or Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory and the list goes on like that. They are all white men that is completely socially inept and don’t care about others and that, that’s not me All the autism moms and Autism Speaks doesn’t help. I was nothing like the media portrays us and I didn’t know how to deal with that.   

Step 3: Realising that you are in fact autistic and that there is nothing wrong with that, and that autisticTM  is just how the media portrays us, but still don’t talk about it.

It took me a while to realise that not just I felt like the media portrayed us wrong, and that I was in fact normal autistic. Tumblr was a great help with this, being able to connect and read about the experiences of other persons on the spectrum in an easy way, was great for me. Still, I didn’t talk with any one new about my diagnosis, I didn’t want to be associated with the media portrayal.   

Step 4: Be angry about autisticTM and decide to do something about it.

The fourth step is my favorite, it’s what made me start this blog. I don’t like that neurotypical people are the ones telling the stories of autistic people, it should be us. So I decided to do something about it and started writing.   

Step 5: Be completely confident about yourself and your diagnosis and live your best life.    

I’m not here yet, but I’m getting there. I’m happy about where I’m at, but there is always room for improvement. I still have some things to fix, and some hangups to get over, and I still don’t really speak about autism, but then again, I have never been great at sharing my personal life with anyone. Over all, I’m currently feeling great and it feels damn good.

* My mother thinks that I should changes wrong to something else, but I honestly thought that something was wrong with me, that I was sick or something like that so I will not change it.I don’t think that autism is wrong.

About Me

 Hello, my name is Johanna Torstensson and I’m 17 years old. I live in Sweden, on the countryside, about 30 minutes from Gothenburg. I go to a Swedish high school named Hvitfeldtska where I study science. It takes me around one hour to get to the school, so I get a lot of time to read, one of my favourite ways to spend my spare time. 

I lived in Gothenburg until I was 13 when we moved to the middle of nowhere, partly because my little brother had a hard time in his former school and partly because my mother wanted to have our horses close by. We got two horses, Chasmin and Babs. Babs full name is Labolina, but that is a character from a children’s book and I can’t have my 27 years old horse associated with a childish ghost, especially when my horse isn’t even white.

Besides the horses, we also got two cats, who hate each other. Maja is the friendliest cat in the world, she is very social, she loves to talk and lie next to one. Stina on the other hand is much more antisocial and “cat”-like. She spends most of her time outdoors and you basically have to catch her if you want to pet her.

There are multiple reasons to why I’m starting this blog, but a big part of it, is that I got Aspergers and I think that our representation in media sucks and I want to change that. The stereotypical person with aspergers in media is an awkward, straight, genius white man. While I’m an awkward, genius, straight woman. You see, great improvement. Other reasons to start this blog is; wanting an excuse to take more pictures of myself, actually become active on instagram, improve my English and just a general appreciation for writing.

Besides writing, I also like reading and I like clothes, both making them, buying them and styling them. Nowadays most of the clothes I buy is second hand. I also have a passion for the arts and I am fond of exercising. My preferences being riding and climbing, something I sadly had to take a pause from due to an injury in my right wrist. Nowadays my only exercise is running, something I no longer hate as much as I used too.

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And here is a link to my Instagram  
https://www.instagram.com/aspectofmylife/